


Dauphin

by AlexanderTemple



Category: French History RPF, French Revolution RPF, Historical RPF
Genre: Abuse, Brainwashing, Child Abuse, Forced Crossdressing, Hope, Suffering, Survival, dauphin, prisoner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21718420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexanderTemple/pseuds/AlexanderTemple
Summary: This is the story of KING LOUIS XVII, the uncrowned king of France.He is the child of King Louis XVI of France and Queen Marie Antoinette. The Royal family is kept prisoners when the French Revolution starts.This is the story of the boy's harsh sufferings and ordeals as a prisoner. It is the story of an innocent child that suffers because he is a symbol of Royalty. It is about his courage and bravery as well as his will to hope for happiness.(This story is based on real-life events, but it is not historical or factual. It may also be too sad and harsh for some readers)





	1. Versailles

_My life changed when I was 4 years old. This was a sad occasion that would change my life forever. It would change my destiny. My older brother dies and I remembered sitting at his funeral. I was too young to understand the concept of death and did not understand why he was in a coffin. I did not understand why Father told me that I was now the Dauphin, which meant I would be the next King of France._

I was born in 1785. My father was King Louis XVI of France and my Mother was Queen Marie Antoinette. I had an older brother and sister. I was called Louis Charles and was the Duke of Normandy. Of course, I had no clue what this meant and the advantages that it gave me. Being the crown prince meant that a lot of people took care of my every need and made sure my life was as easy as possible.

I must admit that court life at Versailles was the only thing I knew about. I knew that father was the King of France, but I knew nothing about France. I knew nothing about the struggles and the poverty of the people. I thought that everyone lived as we did... in a large castle with servants and the best of everything.

I knew that my father was the king and he decided everything. I thought this was because this was what God wanted and father was God's representative in France. I knew that a king was a hard-working man as he had to think about wars and how to run the country. Father was always busy and always speaking with other men. He was also looking at a lot papers. In a way, I was happy that my older brother would be the next king. This would mean I can continue having fun and not have to read so much!

However, as I said, this all changed when I was 4 years old. My brother died of tuberculosis. I remember when my mother held his lifeless body and could not even speak. She cried so much that it made everyone around her cry. I was mad at my brother for making my mother cry. I wanted him to come back. However, I was told that he was now in heaven. I tried my best to comfort my mother and stayed at her side all the time. I even promised her that I would not leave her.

The day of the funeral, Father called me into his chambers. He told me that I was now the Dauphin and this meant that I would be the next king of France. I was polite and responded that I would do what was requested.

“Your life will change,” Father said, “ You will be trained to be a good king. France needs good kings that want the best for the people of France. We will expect more of you and you will have to work hard. As a king, you must be a leader and you must make the best decisions. You will need the love of the French people and God as an ally”

Madame de Rambaud became my governess. She was not at all strict and was always in a good mood. She and a lot of others helped me do everything. They would even dress me and give me baths. I could not even go to the toilet alone. One of the great privileges for them that took care of me was to help me with the toilet. They would compete and argue for the chance to wipe me after! It was only years later how I thought this was strange. When I was the Dauphin, I never thought about it. It was the way that things were done.

My new life consisted of being woken up early. Then a handful of people would get me dressed and brush my long curly hair. I wore either a boy's dress or a skeleton suit. The boy dresses were fashionable. As I grew older, I began wearing skeleton suits. It consisted of trousers with narrow legs but a loose fit over the hips/buttocks, buttoned to a short jacket; a shirt with a wide neck opening; and a big collar edged with frills. I was praised for how “pretty” I was. I was described as a bright, good looking child, with blue eyes, aquiline nose, elevated nostrils, well-defined mouth, pouting lips, chestnut hair parted in the middle and falling in thick curls on his shoulders. Many said I looked like my mother when she was younger. Some even said I looked like a princess!

Looking back on the days in the palace of Versailles, I was a spoiled child. This was not on purpose. It was because of the status I had. I could make demands and people would do what they could to please me. My mother was at times strict and did not want us to be selfish. I remember once when I demanded cake for breakfast and got mad at a servant for saying I should eat something more suitable. I shouted at her in a temper tantrum. Mother came in and was really mad. She told me to gain respect, I had to show it.

It was about this time, that I was sitting in Father's office together with Mother. Father was walking back and forth. He was telling Mother that we had to cut back on the money that we spent. He said the country was bankrupt and the aristocracy did not want to pay taxes. Until he could think of how to get some money, we had to show by example and cut back on our expenses.

I had no clue of what Father was worried about. However, I could see that it annoyed Mother. She reminded my father that he was the king and he had to be more decisive. I did not like when my parents fought. I did not understand this fight as I really did not understand the concept of money. Years later, I would hear people say that father was a weak king because he could not make decisions. He was reluctant to take them and always doubted himself.

This being said, I did not believe or even think of this when we were at Versailles. I would sit in fathers office and watch how he spoke with others. I thought father was a hard worker. He was also concerned and worried about the people of France. He confided in me that he had a lot to think about. France just had a war, that was expensive and now the country had no money. To make things worse, the harvests were failing and many people were hungry.

I did not understand how people could be hungry. Every time I had food, there was a lot on the table. I spent a lot of time with mom in Petit Trianon. This was a small village outside Versailles where mom loved to be. She told me that it was a present for her and she designed it all. There were people in the village that took care of animals and plants. They always seemed to be happy and they did not seem to be hungry or sad. I thought all the people lived like this in France. Little did not know that these people were more like actors and actresses and it was just a show to make mother happy. The life of an ordinary French family was far different and worse. I just never seen this side of France.

I spent a lot of time with mother. She was always in a cheerful mood and boasted that my sister and I were the best things that ever happened to her and France. She told us about her childhood as a princess in Austria and her mother, and what it was like coming to France when she was very young. Mother often tried to explain to us that we are very lucky and very privileged. We were the most important children in France. At the same time, my mother tried telling us that most children in France are not as lucky. They do not have the things that we had.

My sister or I did not understand when mother talked about how ordinary children in France lived. I do know that my father said a lot of people were starving and suffering. I could see how this stressed him and worried him. He would pace back and forth and ask people what he should do. He kept on saying that if the king could not help, who could. I tried helping father by telling him that we could give them some of our food. Father smiled and told me not to say that too loud.

He explained that once people said that my mother advised people to eat cake when she was told that they had no bread. Father told me that people believed that my mother said this and many hated her because of it. The fact is that she never said anything like that. Father praised my mother for trying to cut back in expenses. He just hoped that people could see how she was trying.

I could not understand why people hated mother. She was a loving and caring mother. She told us that we were the most important children in France. This came with a big responsibility. We had to realize that normal people were poor and found life hard. They were the background of the country and not respected. She wanted us to respect everyone no matter what their status was. We would not help anyone if we were spoiled brats that just thought of ourselves.

Soon after I became the Dauphin, I heard two ladies at court talking about me. They were saying that I looked like a Swedish general called Axel Von Ferson. They giggled while they joked that he was my real father, so I did not deserve to be the king of France.

When I told my mother about this, she went pale. I was only 5 so I did not understand how this man could be my real father. Mother was silent for some time and then gave me a hug. She told me that some people were jealous because we were the Royal Family. These people would lie and make up stories about us. Our job was to hold our heads high and be an example for everyone. She assured me that her husband was my real dad. These two women were just starting harmful gossip. She asked me to forgive them and pray for these women.

I never saw these women at Versailles again.

One night mother rushed into my room at night time. She was crying and talking about angry mobs across the country. Mother told me that people were angry because they were suffering so much. Father soon came in and tried to get her back to bed. She was crying and saying that I was only 5. I was too young for all the turmoil. She had to stay there and protect me.

The next day I asked the governess why my mother came into my room and asked me she was so afraid. She smiled and said that I was not in danger. People loved the Royal Family and they loved me as the dauphin. They would never harm me.

I felt better until I went to father's office. Mother was crying and asking what would become of us? I tried asking what was happening but was told not to worry. This was a bit hard seeing the worried look on Dad's face and mom crying. At times I wished that I was older.

Versailles was usually a quiet place where people did the same things every day. However, there was suddenly a lot of shouting and even gunshots outside. I rushed to the window clutching on to my mother's skirt. There was a mob of people coming towards the castle. They had a red, white and blue flag. Some were carrying pitchforks and others had weapons. They all looked shabby in worn-out clothes and they looked so dirty. I started crying and asking my mother what these people wanted.

I got my answer when some military men in shabby clothes marched in their office. They said they were from the revolutionary army.

One man looked at my dad and said, “You and your family are not safe here. We are moving you to a safer place.”

Little did I know that we were now prisoners!

**To be continued**   
**Share. comment and bookmark. You can also follow me to get notifications when I update. I love keeping in contact with people that comment or follow me. Thank you – Alexander Temple**


	2. Prisoners of the Revolution

We were all sitting in the coach as the revolution army escorted us. Momma stopped crying and was holding father's hand very tight. I looked out the window. It was the first time I ever have seen anything outside Versailles. What I saw shocked me. Things were not as grand as they were in Versailles. The houses looked small and many were not that cheerful. They looked like they were the same size as my bedroom. The people wore very worn-out clothes that were made out of the cheapest cloth and so worn out. The people looked so sad and tired. 

It got worse as we entered Paris. The city which should be the capital of France looked so dark and so dirty. The people walked around on muddy streets and they all looked hungry and sad. This was the first time that I ever have seen poverty and had so many questions. I wanted to know why some people were so angry. Some were even throwing rotten food at our carriage. 

Father was relaxed and told us not to be afraid. He understood why they were mad and he wanted to help them. My sister and I were told to hold our heads high and be proud of who we were. I looked at momma and could see she was the one that looked so worried. I looked out the window and figured as long as they were just throwing vegetables, it could not be that bad. It was like when my older sister got mad at me. She would calm down and say I did not know better because I was only 5. 

We were now in the Tuileries Palace. We still had our servants and people to cook and all that. Father said that this would do. He was spoken with the guards and they said they will give us an allowance, which was far less money than we were used to. 

Again father told us not to worry. This would be short term. We could use this as an opportunity to see how normal people lived. I wanted to question him about this. The palace still looked far bigger and posher than the houses I have seen. However I could see that father was also trying to convince himself not to worry, so I kept my worries to myself. 

Life did not change that much. We did the same pretty much as we have always have done. There was not a huge variety of food, but we still had more than enough. The big change was that my father did not work a lot. A man from the revolution would come and tell him what the provincial government was doing. I noticed that my father was not asked what he thought nor did he give any orders. They just told him what was being done. 

Father told us that there was still a lot of fighting and there were even some that were loyal to him. 

Mom questioned dad about this not being serious. She told him that we were basically prisoners. We could never be alone as there were guards in the room all the time. Even the maids and servants were leaving us as they were afraid that they would be executed. Mom was shocked when she had to help my big sister get dressed because her maid left. 

I was too young really to notice any difference. We still had good food and we still lived like a Royal family. The only thing I noticed was that we were guarded all the time and no one bowed when they spoke with me. One guard teased me one day saying I looked like a girl with my satin clothes and long curly hair. He started calling me a princess, which made the others laugh and call me the same. I was defiant and told them I was the dauphin, which made one of the guards come close to me. It looked as if he would hit me, but momma quickly pulled me away and told me not to make the guards mad. 

A year passed and I was now 6. We were still prisoners in the palace in Paris. I was still quite naive as to how serious things were. I was lucky enough that I adjusted to the new life and could not see the big difference between life at Tuileries Palace and Versailles. My older sister did say she felt like a prisoner and often said she no longer felt respected. Our father calmed us down and said that this was short term. We were still the Royal family of France and this was all that mattered. 

Every day we were taught by our parents. We would hear about history and geography and maths. These were special moments for me and one advantage that we were prisoners. We now spent a lot of time with our parents. Father was still a king but the provisional government was making all the decisions. 

Momma liked telling us stories about her childhood when she was a princess in Austria. She talked about the palace they lived in and how people bowed when they saw her. She talked about all the dresses she had and how she never had to worry. As a child, momma loved to play in the castle gardens with her puppies. I did not know that momma told these stories to help us remember what our life was like. However, I loved it when she talked about her childhood. She did not look so worried and smiled as she talked about it. She was the happy mother that we once knew. 

I asked the guard if I could have a puppy as momma had when she was a child. This upset my older sister, that scolded me because I asked a guard. She reminded me that I was the dauphin and they were only guards. I should not ask but command it! This upset the guard and he hit my sister. 

When my big sister was hit, momma rushed to her and held her in her arms. It was the first time that someone hit a Royal child! My sister and mother were shocked and I felt bad that I even asked for a puppy. Father was very cautious and told us we must not make the guards mad. This upset momma more as she asked father if he was still the king. 

I had my seventh birthday at Tuileries Palace. This was now my life and all I knew. My old life in Versailles was nearly forgotten. 

The first was when a man from the provisional government came to visit us. He announced that the revolution was a big success, and there were only some areas that were now resisting. Father asked if people were still hungry. The man did not answer this. 

Momma asked him if we could get new clothes. She told them that my sister only had a handful of dresses and we were both growing so quickly. It was at this time that I could see how many hated my mother. The man told him that any child in France would love to have the clothes we had. He reminded momma of how much money she spent on her dresses and jewelry when we were at Versailles. He reminded momma that she was known as “Madame Deficit” because she spent so much when the country was bankrupt. 

The provisional government did not want to harm us or kill us. They thought that the Royal Family could help bring peace to the country. On the anniversary of the fall of the Bastille, which started the revolution, we were taken to the Bastille. This was an exciting day as we were allowed out of the palace. Over 300.000 people showed up to the memorial. I never have seen so many people in my life. A mass was said and afterward, father took an oath that he would protect the country and support the laws that the new parliament made. The people cheered him and shouted, “ Long live the King”. 

Then momma came forth and showed me to the crowd. The crowd screamed and shouted, “Long live the Dauphin!.” To be quite honest, I was a bit shy and did not know what to do. Momma told me to smile and wave. This was not that hard to do. I knew that as the future king of France, that I would have to get used to being the center of attention and someone the people would love.... or hate. 

Momma was not happy as we went home. She asked my father why he took the oath. It gave the new parliament all the power and he would just be like a decoration. Father remained silent. In fact, I was old enough to feel sorry for him. The revolution was telling him one thing and momma was telling him another thing. Father was known for a man that could never make a decision. It must have been hard for him when people expected different things. How could he decide what to do?

Another year had passed and I was now 8 years old. It was said that I was mature for my age and could understand things others could not. I could see that we were stuck in this place. I could see that momma and father were not happy. I could not see the difference between our life now and before we were prisoners. Was it not worse being in Versailles and never leaving it?

Momma was tired of being a prisoner and having no money. She whispered to father several times that they must do something to restore the monarchy. Momma was sure that other countries such as Austria would help. 

Father seemed quite content with our life as prisoners. He said we had all that we needed and we were together as a family. He enjoyed family life where he could give us lessons and teach us things, and at other times just relax. This was not enough for momma. She wanted the family restored at their rightful place. Momma nagged father non-stop, promising that the other European countries would help. In the end, he sighed and told momma that we would try to escape. 

Momma gave two guards that seemed sympathetic to us to let us sneak out. This was when I met Count Axel Von Fersen. He was the man that some people believed was my real dad. For a few minutes, he and I just looked at each other. I figured that he heard the same rumor and was wondering if I was his son. 

Momma interrupted our thoughts and said that it was time to go. The count led us outside and pointed to a small carriage. He said this carriage would be fast and not many people would notice it. Father agreed until momma said that it looked uncomfortable. She wanted to ride in the big carriage and suggested that six horses could ride it. So Father ended up in supporting Momma. 

It took time for that carriage to get ready. Then we were on our way out of Paris. The carriage was comfortable but slow. I wondered how many people would notice a big carriage with 6 horses and wonder who it was. Momma did not think about that. She was telling father that Austria would help regain France again and when we were back at Versailles, we had to punish all those that treated us like prisoners. Father said that it was important to forgive and unite the country as well as help the poor. Momma did not agree. 

Father noticed that the carriage was slow and kept on shouting to the driver to go quicker. It was after midnight so I was surprised that some people were standing at the side of the road cheering at us. Of course, some were not cheering and this worried Father. He kept on saying that this escape should have been a secret. There must have been some guards or servants that could not keep a secret. 

The driver told us that we had to change horses as we were halfway to the border. Some repairs also had to be made to the carriage. So we stopped in a small village. Momma told us that we should stretch our legs. I was standing outside with my sister as we were looking at the sunrise. I could see some people talking with father. This annoyed momma as she thought he would say something wrong. 

A few children spoke with my sister and I. They were in tattered clothes and looked so skinny and sick. They did most of the talking. They were impressed with the clothes that we wore and how clean we looked. They said it's not often a carriage with 6 horses came through the town. We were asked if we were aristocracy and escaping the revolution. My sister and I did not say much, especially when they asked did we ever meet the Dauphin. I did not know what to say or to do. It was the first time that I ever spoke with normal people. 

As we were about to leave, Momma spoke with the blacksmith and said that we had no money. She offered him jewels that would most likely give him money for 100 horses, The blacksmith had a strange look on his face and looked at us as he said that these looked like Royal Jewelry. 

We were once again on the run. Momma said she was worried that we were recognized. She was right! About an hour later we were stopped by the revolutionary military and arrested. We were escorted back to the Tuileries Palace.

A few days after, Father was teaching my sister and me some history when two men from the provisional government came in. They told father that the government was very disappointed about the planned escape. The government had protected the Royal Family and hoped there was a place for us in the new France. Father understood them when they said that many people now doubted if the Royal family was friends of France or enemies of France. They knew that Momma wanted her own country to help and invade France. This was treason. 

There was only one way out of this, the men said. The king had to sign a bill that made France a constitutional Monarchy. Father also understood this and said he would sign it the next time they came. 

However, when they went, Momma was mad. She warned father that he should not sign the bill. This would make the Royal Family symbols with no power. We would be prisoners of the new government from now on. We could not do anything without asking them. She also said that this would threaten the other Royal families in Europe. 

So when the two men came back later in the afternoon, Father said that he would veto the bill and not sign it. 

The next day, there was a crowd of people outside the palace demanding that the king would abdicate. They heard that we tried to escape and considered this treason and against the revolutionary spirit. The government announced that the king would agree to a constitutional monarchy. In this way, there would be a compromise between the royalists and the revolution.

The mob outside the palace did not agree. They wanted to storm the palace where we lived. Momma was afraid of what would happen to us, so she asked the government to move us to a safer place. We were secretly moved from the palace and moved to a place called The Temple. We found out later that 50 people were killed in this riot. 

The Temple was an old fortress in Paris and used by the new government as a prison. So we now lived in a cell. It was furnished but it was also well guarded, so the guards could hear everything we said. They could also see when we changed clothes. Momma tried to cheer us up by saying that at least we were safe. 

Father still refused to sign the constitutional monarchy. So the government announced that France was now a republic and the Royal family lost all our titles and property. Father was no longer the king and known as Citoyen Louis Capet and I was known as Louis Capet and no longer the Dauphin. Father seemed relieved until he was told that he was no longer king. He worried again when they told him that he and momma were now under arrest. 

This meant that my father had to stand trial in a court. Momma still hoped that we had friends, and did not realize how much we were now hated. Father was found guilty of treason and was sentenced to death. I did not understand this totally. 

Father understood it. Before the guards came to get him, he told me that he wanted to tell me something important

“ France is very confused now,” he said. “ People want a better life and blame me for their troubles. They do not want a Royal family. A lot of blood is being shed because people disagree on Frances's future. Things will get worse. People will hate each other and be afraid of each other. This will not be easier for you. However, despite the pain, humiliation, and suffering they will inflict on you and our family, please always have hope and pray for the people who hurt you and our family. The greatest thing you can do is forgive them”

Father was executed and this made momma cry all the time. 

After a month, the government representatives came back. They told momma that they have come to remove my sister and I from my mother. Momma was on her knees and pleaded to them to have some compassion and not separate a mother from their children. 

The man explained that the other European countries have proclaimed me as the new king. They suspected that my mother was still trying to get foreign countries to interfere. They had no choice but to remove me. 

The man tugged as my hand while telling me that I was not the king. Momma put her arms around me and shouted she will not let me go. The guard pointed a gun at my head and told momma to let go of me or he would kill me!

**To be continued**   
**Share. comment and bookmark. You can also follow me to get notifications when I update. I love keeping in contact with people that comment or follow me. Thank you – Alexander Temple**


	3. Child of the Revolution

The revolutionaries did not want me to stay with my older sister or momma. They did not like that people were proclaiming me as the new King of France and when momma knelt in front of me and said I was the new king, that was too much for the revolutionaries. They told momma that I would no longer be with her. 

Momma clenched on to me and begged them to let her continue to be my mother. The guards had his orders and told momma to let go of me. I was 8 years old and the recent imprisonment and the execution of my father were too much for me. Now my momma was being taken away. I started crying and begging momma that I could stay with her. The tug of war continued over an hour. In the end, one of the guards put a gun to my head and told momma he would kill me if she did not let me go. 

Momma stopped fighting and she gave me a hug telling me to remember my catholic faith and that she loved me. 

I was dragged away from momma. I was crying at the top of my lungs and shouting that I did not want to go. Momma stood bravely holding on to my sister's hand. My sister would also be taken away from her. I never felt so sad that I did at the moment. The guards were also laughing because they said that I was crying like a girl. I was taken to a cell below where I met my new guardians. 

There were an older man and woman. The man's name was Antoine Simon. They had peasants tattered clothes on them and wore the red, white and blue ribbon. The man was half-shaved and he was so dirty and smelled of alcohol. His wife looked a bit tidier, but her hair looked like it should get a good brushing. I stood there just looking at the two that were supposed to take care of me. I bowed slightly and said hello. 

This made the man laugh and ask the guards if they were not supposed to come with a boy. He thought I was a girl. He took me by the ear which made me scream and showed me a small bed in the corner of the cell. He told me that I would sleep here. 

I threw myself on the bed and refused to get up. Mr. Simon just slapped me all over my body and hit me in my ribs asking me did I have permission to lay down. I was not going to move. I was in pain from the slaps and punches, but far worse than this was the state of my mind. I could not help myself. I just started crying and crying. Mr. Simon was annoyed and mad. His wife told him to leave me there. When I was hungry I would get up. 

As I laid there, I heard my two guardians talk with the men from the government. They were told that I was to be a productive republican, that supported the new Republic. My Royal blood had to be cleaned out of me. It was the guardian's job in helping me to understand my new position and status in the new Republic of France. 

I was 8 years old and since my father was executed, I felt like my life was changed forever. Momma knelt down and proclaimed me as the new king of France. We heard that most of Europe also recognized me as the new king. I heard some rumors that Austra and Prussia were now attacking France to restore the monarchy. 

This made me think that I was moved to make sure I was a supporter of the Republic. This did not stop me from crying for two days. I missed my momma and my sister. I missed my father that was in heaven. I wanted things to be the way they always were. I did not want to be the king of France. I just wanted to be with my family. Now I was in this dark and smelly cell with a man and a woman that I did not know. They would poke me once in a while and ask if I was finished crying and feeling sorry for myself. I would just cry on.

After two days there was nothing left in me. I was hungry. I slowly got up and went to the woman and asked her if I could get some food. She smiled and gave me some dry bread and some water. Her husband came and threw the water off the table and told me I could learn how to drink beer. I tasted it and it was disgusting, which made him laugh. He slapped me across the face and told me I had to learn to like it.

After breakfast, he threw some clothes on the bed and told me to change. I picked them up and looked at him without saying a word. He laughed nearly dropping his bear telling me that if I looked like a girl and acted like one, I could be one. I thought about refusing to put a dress on, but I knew that he would only hit me or worse. So I took off the clothes that showed I was a prince or even a king. Then I put this white dress that went just below my knees. It had lace around the neck and the arms. The woman looked in shock and said I looked so much like a girl. She put a red bonnet on me and told me that I now looked like a Republican. 

I was then told to start cleaning the cell. I never cleaned anything before in my life, so I did not have a clue what to do. The woman was nice enough to show me how to scrub floors and wash things down. I used all day washing the cell down, although I could not see a difference, as the smoke from Mr. Simons pipe and the limited light made the cell look more than a cave. 

Even when I cleaned, I would not have time to rest. Mr. Simon sat in the chair and would demand me to get him what he needed. I did not like him. He did not know how to read and didn't seem very smart. He sang songs that were rude and not proper and the man swore a lot. If he thought that I was slow, he would punch me and laugh if the pain made me cry. He would only call me Capet, saying that Louis made me sound like a king. After a while, I even forgot that my name was Louis. 

If I was close by the window, I could hear my mother cry as she was just above us. This made me feel very sad. If I asked Mr. Simon if I could see my mom or sister, he would laugh and hit me as he told me that I was a bastard. My father was not the real king. My mom was a whore that slept with a Swedish baron and many others. He would tell me that I had to know the truth and that mom was a whore and I was a bastard. He would hit me until I admitted that I was a bastard. 

He got mad one day after I was let out in the garden. The guards were humiliating me and teasing me that I was dressed as a girl. They were asking if I was a princess or just a sissy. I did not respond and just continued to pick flowers. I told Mrs. Simon that they would make the cell look better. This made her smile and say that I even thought like a girl. She did not notice that I dropped some outside momma's cell as we went back to our own cell. 

Mrs. Simon was a nice enough woman. She would help wash me every day and brush my hair. She loved putting it in pigtails. She told me about her life. She was married to Mr. Simon. He was nice in his younger days, but every time he tried to do a job he failed at it. He tried owning his own business but that also failed. Now the revolution was all that he thought about. It was him that offered to be my guardian. He wanted me to be a strong republican and be loyal to a Republican France. 

Mr. Simon could be nice and at times, he made me laugh. Mostly I was afraid of him. I was afraid especially if he was drunk. Once he started hitting me and throwing me around in the cell. When I was on the ground, he started kicking me. The pain was so much that I thought that I would die. I begged him to stop. He just laughed and continued hitting me. After this, I would look at the new bruises on my body. There more and more of them every day. 

Once when he wanted me to drink beer, I said no in a very polite way. He asked me was I not good enough for a beer. After he beat me up, he told me that I would be executed like my dad. He said that I still thought that I was the new king of France. I did not deserve the red Revolution bonnet on me. After this, I could not sleep well, as I dreamt of the guillotine. I would wake up and sweat. 

One day, a teenager came up to deliver food. He had this strange look on his face. When he was asked why he was staring, he answered that he thought the Dauphin was here. Mr. Simon laughed and told the boy that I was a boy that liked wearing dresses. I felt so humiliated and especially when Mr. Simon asked if this was not true. I did not dare to say no so I admitted that I liked being a girl. The boy was shocked. 

The fact is I did not mind wearing the dress. I didn't like that it was not clean like it once was. However, I did not mind being a girl. I know Mrs. Simon liked paying attention to me and doing nice things like brushing my hair. She often said that I made a better girl than a boy. 

A part of Mr. Simons's ambition was to make a republican and a normal French boy... I mean person. He would teach me the nasty songs, that were rude and even pornographic. He would teach me songs that teased the royal family and the aristocracy and of course he taught me songs that praised the new Republic. I loved singing but did not always understand what the songs mean especially pornographic ones. When he told me what they meant, I felt weak and sick. I never asked him again in explaining the songs, but that did not stop him from telling me. 

He also wanted me to swear. He explained that only kings and queens did not swear, so he taught me all the words that he thought I should know. At first, I did not want to swear as I was certain that momma could hear everything above us. If I did not swear, he would start hitting me again. Swearing became a part of my normal language. 

One thing that he loved was making me drink so much beer that I got drunk. Then I would sing the filthy songs and swear as bad as everyone else. Mr. Simon was sure that this was a sign that I was no longer a Royal. Getting drunk was as bad as being hit. I would be so sick afterward and my head would be in pain. On top of that, I would have so much guilt because I was sure that momma could hear me when I was drunk. 

This went on. I was now nearly10 and still stuck in the cell. I never was allowed to see my sister or my momma. I was stuck in this cell with two people. I admit that I also changed. I was now a republican. I started believing the stories about momma and everything she has done wrong. I believed that a king was not good for France. I was even proud of my red revolution bonnet. On top of all this, I no longer considered myself a boy, I swore a lot and did not mind the taste of beer. This meant that I was drunk a lot.

I did not pray to God either. I was mad at him for so many things. 

I tried my best to make Mr. Simon happy. I was still afraid of him when he was drunk. I had some bruises on my body and some scars. I had swollen legs or arms at times. There was no place to hide when he was mad. 

I remember once that I was standing beside the window. Mr. Simon was drunk and could hardly stand up. I could hear momma crying above and wanted so much to go up and give her a hug. Mr. Simon picked up a broomstick. He raised the broomstick. He was going to hit me again. I don't know why I said it, but I shouted: “When will that bitch of a whore die?” 

Mr. Simon started laughing. He wanted to drink beer with me. He was so proud that I finally said something like that. I smiled, but deep inside me, I was crying and so mad at myself. What if momma heard me? Would she think that I didn't love her anymore? What sort of person have I become. I was now living as a girl that now got drunk a lot and had a foul mouth. Did momma hear me when I sang those nasty songs?

It was shortly after this that Mr. Simon was drunk and beat me up until he gave me a black eye. After he finished, he fell asleep on the chair while Mrs. Simon did the best she could ease the pain her husband inflicted on me. I asked her when I could see momma or my sister. She did not get a chance to answer as Mr. Simon woke up and was mad that I even asked the question. Once again I was being punched and thrown about. I was crying so hard that it just made him hit me more. In the end, he asked me if I was the king, what revenge would do against him? I looked up at him and remembered my father's last words. “I would forgive you”

Things changed after that. It was like he respected me more. He would still hit me and demand that I sang the nasty songs. However, a nicer side came from him. He did not call me bastard as much and he even told me what was happening in France. He even gave me presents such as games and cards. One day he gave me a toy canary as a present. I had this toy beside my bed.

Two men from the government came to check up on me. They were happy that my answers supported the Republic and I admitted that I did not want to be the king and France should have no monarchy. The two men were shocked that I was dressed like a girl and they demanded that I would be treated as a boy. So I got some boy's clothes to wear. 

I asked them if I could see momma and my sister. They told me that this was not possible at this time. Years later, I found out that France was at war, and the European armies wanted to save the monarchy. The government wanted to tell the world that I was now a republican. The only problem they had was my momma. 

I lived in a confusing world. I knew that European countries considered me as the king of France and many French people thought I was the king. I was only 9 years and I did not understand all this politics. I just wanted to be with my family and not be beaten up all the time. I did not realize that I was a symbol of the monarchy. People were not interested in me as a person, they were interested in me as a symbol. This is why the government was insistent that I would be a republican. 

Up to now, he had beaten me so my body was covered with black and blue marks. Sometimes my arms and legs were swollen. There were even times when I could not walk as I sprained my ankle during a beating. As time went by, Mr. Simon also began to see me less than a symbol that he hated. He could see that I was a republican and was even proud of wearing the red republican bonnet. I was shocked one day when he called me “son”. It was like he decided that he wanted to adopt me. 

I knew that his wife always had a soft side for me. She comforted me when I was beaten up or humiliated. She always wanted a daughter, and when I was forced to wear girl dresses, she would treat me like her daughter. So overall things were going better for me. 

Despite that Mr. Simon liked me, he still could be a tyrant when he was drunk. Once, he was speaking with the guards and drinking. When they were all drunk, Mr. Simon demanded that I sing one of the filthy songs. The songs people would sing in some bar. Songs that were nearly pornographic and that had many swear words. I refused to sing it because I was standing beside the window and could hear momma crying. I did not want her to hear me sing such songs. Mr. Simon demanded that I sang the song. I still refused. This resulted in the worse beating in my life. He took a cane and hit me all over my body with it. I quickly collapsed to the ground and tried to curl up in a ball. This did not stop him. He kept on hitting me. The pain was unbearable and I had no voice to beg him to stop.

I thought he was killing me. Everything went black. 

When I woke up, I could not move a bone and I had pains all over me. Mrs. Simon was sitting beside me rubbing my forehead with a wet cloth. She was telling me that I should learn to do everything her husband wanted and especially when he was drunk. I looked up to her and couldn't say a word. I spent my 10th birthday in pain on my cot, 

A few days later, some men from the government came by. Mr. Simon warned me to tell them the truth. They asked me lots of questions about what life was like as a Dauphin. I told them the truth. Then they started asking me about momma. They wanted me to say that she had a lot of dresses and jewelry and wanted to know if she talked a lot about Austria. I told them the truth. Momma did have lots of dresses and she talked a lot about when she was a princess in Austria. 

Then he placed some paper before me and told me that I was a good republican, especially if I signed this. I read it and read something about momma wanted Austria to invade France. The letter said I was also a bastard because momma was unfaithful. Finally, it said that momma abused me. I did not know what the word incest even made and I understood very little about what they wanted me to sign under. They told me I would be a good republican and it would help momma. I signed it. 

No one ever told me that this letter was used in my mother's court case. No one told me that the main accusation was from her son. They said that she molested me, which was not true. I signed something I did not understand. No one told me that momma was executed. I still thought she was alive but did not understand why I could no longer hear her when I stood by the window. Maybe it is good that they never told me that Momma was dead. It would be some time before I was told that she was executed. 

Things were not going well for France. The European armies were now attacking the border and having some success. This worried the government as for many people, I still was a symbol of the monarchy. 

So shortly after my 10th birthday, the guards came into our cell and told my guardians that I was being removed to a new cell. Mrs. Simon started crying and begging them not to do this. 

However, I was lead to a new cell. It had nothing in it but a mattress. The window was covered so it was totally dark inside. I was pushed in and the heavy door was closed. 

Everything was dark and I was alone in this dark cell. The living nightmare of my life had just started. 

**To be continued**   
**Share. comment and bookmark. You can also follow me to get notifications when I update. I love keeping in contact with people that comment or follow me. Thank you – Alexander Temple**


	4. Escaping the Nightmare

Since we were prisoners from Versailles, I have experienced so many bad things. My family was locked up and we lost all our land and titles. Then I was moved to the Simon couple, where they forced me to dress as a girl, swear and sing nasty songs. The worse was they wanted me to say bad things about my parents. This was all to show that I was a good Republican. 

I did not want to be the king. I knew that all of Europe considered me as the king. But kings like my father got killed. I figured let France have their republic. I loved the country and the French people, but I did not have the love of them. If I was just alone, I could do something in France that I liked. I could live like any other person. 

I did not know that my mother was executed. I thought she was alive. I did not know that a reign of terror had just started in France, where so many aristocrats were being sent to the guillotines. In the end, nearly 17.000 people would have been executed and many more would have died in prison. These included aristocrats, clergy, children and my parents. 

I had problems myself. 

Being thrown in the cell meant the nightmare of my life had just started. 

The guards threw me in and the big door was closed locking me in. There was no furniture except a small cot. I sat on the cot and looked around. The floor was stone and the walls were stone. High up was a window that was boarded up and only allowed a small bit of light in the room. 

It was so dark and I was alone for the first time in my life. I was always with someone. They were nice or mean, but being alone was new and I could not bear it. The first few days was myself sitting in a corner singing sings and mostly crying. My head hurt so much because I cried and I could not properly see things. Every noise there was made my heart leap and scared me. I had no one to tell me not to be afraid or no shoulder to lay on. 

The cell also had so many rats and insects. The rats would roam about and not care about me. Sometimes I would scream when I woke up and some rat would be on my bed. I was so afraid of them that I would sit and shiver knowing they were all around me. The insects were just as bad. They would bite me and after some time my body was covered with insect bites and scabs because I itched so much. The rats and insects were the only company I had, Yet they were not friends. They were a reminder that I was locked in a cell as if I was an animal!

For months I never saw a human being. The guards would push some food under the door once a day and not say a word. Sometimes they would open a latch in the door to see if I was alive. There would be a few slices of dry bread and a glass of water. This meant that I was hungry all day and would moan and groan because of hunger and thirst. 

I do not know how long I was in this cell. It seemed as if months went by. I was in constant pain from hunger and constant fear. My clothes were so dirty and small, as my body was growing. I tried cutting them to allow my body to fit in them. Looking back, I should just have taken them off as the unhygienic and dirt just caused my skin to become worse and indeed my health. Loneliness was the worse. I missed my mother and sister so much. I even missed when Mr. Simon humiliated me or hit me. I tried to survive by remembering the times I had with my family. I would even pretend that I was speaking with them. 

The dirt and filth were inhumane. There was no toilet in the cell so I had to use the corner as a toilet. This meant that the cell was so dirty and foul. I had no fresh air and the rats spread the waste from my body all over the room. After a month or two, I just sat in my cot and refused to leave it, only to get food. 

I became weak and sick. My bones ached. I had headaches. I was skin and bones and yet some parts of my body were swollen. I no longer had the strength to sit up so I just laid in the cot all the time. I was certain that I would die. I did my best to survive, as I knew that momma would be devasted if I died. 

I must have been going insane, as I started talking to myself. I even hear mommas voice comforting me and telling me that she was with me, and everything would be fine. 

One day, the government official came and demanded that the cell be opened. This was the first time that I have seen a human being in months. This man most likely has seen the worse of humankind in the revolution, but my cell made him upset. 

“This boy is living like an animal” he shouted. “Look at the cell! It is infested with rats. He has obviously not eaten in days, as the rats have been eating his food. There are dirt and excrement everywhere. Look at the boy! His clothes look so small they are digging in his skin. He is skin and bones and looks like he is on the doorsteps of death! This boy is so filthy and smells like a pig”

The government man tried to speak with me, but I refused to answer him. I was so weak that I could only mutter a word or two if I did want to speak with him. I no longer trusted anyone. When I was with the Simon couple, I did everything they wished. I tried being a good boy. I tried to please the revolutionaries. I drank, I cursed and I sang their vulgar songs. I even denounced my family and called my mother a whore. The reward was being locked in this cell. It was obvious that I would always be the Dauphin to them and I could never please them. 

The guards were ordered to clean the room. They brushed and scrubbed everything. The window was now open so light and fresh air came in. They even used cyanide to get rid of the rats. Proper food was given to me as well as a set of new clothes. I was forced to take a bath every day. This was something my infected skin did not like and I did not have the energy to do.

The problem was that I was so sick that the cleaning did not help. I just laid in bed and suffered from pain in every corner of my body. The guards would come into my cell now and talk to me. Despite I was sick, I refused to speak with them. I did like it when they came in as I was not lonely. However I no longer trusted anyone, so I did not speak back to them. They just sat there and talked to me and after a while gave up and left. 

The doctor came once and said that I was very sick. I heard him whisper to the guard that he did not think that I had a lot of time left. The guard said that meant only the sister would have survived. This confused me. Why did he say only my sister survived. Was she released? I was so so confused. Why did they not mention my mother? Where was she? I was so sick that I thought that I did not hear right. 

One thing that I did understand was that I was dying. I even heard momma's voice telling me to have hope, be strong and not give up. I did not want to give up, but my body was full of sores, my limbs were swollen and my skin had a strange color. The revolutionaries were slowly killing me. 

One night, I heard the door open. I knew it was at nighttime. Where I usually was alone and afraid because it was so dark. Mrs. Simon knelt down beside me while someone was telling her to hurry. I tried opening my eyes but could not open so long. Mrs. Simon was asking me if I could stand up, I asked her to let me just die. She was married to a man that used to torture me and cause me so much emotional and physical pain. I whispered again asking her to go and let me die. 

The man picked me up and led me out of the cell. To be honest, I thought they would be taking me to the guillotine just like my father was. I was not afraid. Dying would mean that I would be in heaven with my dad and there would be no pain. The revolutionaries could not harm me more than what they already have done. 

The man whispered to Mrs, Simon that I was as light as a feather. I could not keep my eyes open. I opened them twice. The first time I could see we were going through the hallways. I could see mommas door and whimpered that I wanted to see momma. The man told me to be silent. I closed my eyes and opened them once again when I was in a carriage. Now I was confused. What was happening to me?

When I woke up again, I was laying in the most comfortable bed with the best blankets and the nicest pillow. I could not get up or even speak as I was so much in pain and my mind was in turmoil. I looked around and I could see that I was in a room like the one I had in Versailles. I was so confused as to why I was there. Why did they remove me from the dark cell?

I spent some days sleeping and waking up. There was a lady taking care of me when I woke up or a doctor examining me. I was a bit surprised when they called me “majesty” but did not have the strength to ask what was happening. I heard the doctor tell the others standing around me that I should not be moved. He told me that animals were treated better than me and he did not expect me to survive. I would drift back to sleep and pray that God would allow me into heaven. 

At one stage Miss Simone was by my bed. She had tears in her eyes as she told me that her job was now done and she had to get back to her life. “I am sorry for what I and my husband has done to you!” She told me over. She also told me if her husband knew that she helped me escape, he would have her executed. She walked out the door for the last time. 

All this made me so confused. I was in a nice bedroom and the soup I was fed tasted so nice. At the same time, my body had given up and I could not speak or move. Sometimes I felt so warm that I sweat so bad. Other times I would be freezing where my bones would ache a lot more. I still did not understand why people were suddenly calling me “majesty”

At one stage I heard my mother's voice, “ Do not be afraid. You are safe now. Do not give up! Have courage and hope and remember that I love you.”

A week went by and I could sit up in the bed. I was too weak to say anything but I recognized the man that carried me. It was Axel von Fersen, the man that people said was my real dad and the man that tried to help my family escape before. Now I was very confused. 

Von Fersen sat at the side of my bed and told me that it was nice that I was getting some strength back, although there was still a long way to go. I managed to ask him where I was...

“ You are at a friend's house,” he said. “ We have helped you escape from the prison. It was no easy thing to do. Lucky for us Mrs. Simon helped us. She felt bad about the way you were treated. They have treated you so bad, you are very sick and I think you must be traumatized.”

I did not understand much. I asked where my mother was. Von Fersen did not answer but said that they had to get me out of France as everyone was looking for me. He told me that this would be very difficult, but they had a plan that would get me out of France. It was a crazy plan, and he hoped I would agree. 

He explained to me that everyone was looking for a boy. So their idea was to dress me as a girl, and he would disguise himself as an English Lord. I would be his daughter that became sick in Paris, and he wanted to take me to London. He looked at me and asked me did I mind dressing as a girl?

I nodded and told him that I was a girl for the Simons. I would do anything to get as far away from France as I could. He told me that we had to leave soon, as they were searching in every home. 

So I was dressed in a petticoat and my hair was curled. I looked in the mirror and I looked like a girl once more. It was time to go. It was time to leave France. 

I was carried out to the coach. I could not walk yet. I was still so sick and in pain. In fact, the doctor did not want me to leave as he said traveling could kill me. I told them that I would be killed if I stayed in Paris much longer, 

I leaned against Von Fersen as our carriage went out of Paris. I remembered the first time I saw Paris many years before. The people looked poor and the town looked so dirty and poor. The revolution did not change anything. I closed my eyes as this excitement was too much for my body. 

I opened my eyes when we were at the gate. The guard stopped us and asked us for papers. He accepted that we had false papers. Then someone from the revolution told the guard to wait, as they suspected the Dauphin was in this coach. Von Fersen held my hand tight as we thought that this would be the end. 

When I saw it was Mr. Simon, the man that abused and tortured me for months, I felt as if I would cry. I would be captured once again and forced back to the dark cell. Mr. Simon smiled which did not help things. He rubbed my cheek and told me that he hoped I had a good journey. Then he told the guards to let us pass. 

When we were out of Paris, I told Von Ferson who Mr. Simon was and I was certain that he recognized me. Why did he let us go? Von Ferson smiled and said we would never know but some people were tired of the terror in France, where thousands were killed or imprisoned. 

I do not remember much about leaving France or sailing. I slept most of the way as I could not stay awake. Von Fersen was afraid that my health was becoming worse and worse. He noticed that I shed a tear as we boarded a ship to leave France. I told him that despite how I and my family were treated, I loved France and its people. 

The journey across the sea was hard. There was no storm and the water was quite calm. However, I felt sicker. I could not eat or drink. At one stage I was certain I would die and closed my eyes. 

When I woke up, I was in a bed again with a rich woman wiping my forehead. She smiled down at me as she spoke in English, 

“ You are safe now, your majesty,” She said., “You are now in Ireland under the protection of the Duke of Doneraile. You will be safe here.”

**To be continued**  
**Share. comment and bookmark. You can also follow me to get notifications when I update. I love keeping in contact with people that comment or follow me. Thank you – Alexander Temple**


	5. French Refugee in Ireland

I was in bed in a foreign country under the protection of a British Duke. This country was now protecting me, which was a bit strange, as the British always have been the enemies of France. You could not see this in the way the lady of the house acted. She was beside my bed all day and nursing me. The journey here was quite hard. My health declined once again so I was confined to bed all the time. Once again I heard doctors whisper that they did not think that I would survive. 

Von Ferson returned to Sweden. I never did hear from him again. I would not remember him as the man that was rumored to be my dad, but rather than a man that saved my life. 

The Duchess was the same age as my mother. She told the doctors that she would not allow me to die. She had a daughter my age and she recently died. She even confessed that I reminded her about her lost daughter. I slowly recovered as she nursed me around the clock. After a few weeks, I was sitting up in bed. I could not quite stand or walk, but I was so happy that I did not have so many pains. My skin was also looking more and more normal. 

I remember my 11th birthday. It was the first time that I was smiling in years. I felt so safe in this new house, and The Duchess was so nice to me. I was so happy that momma and my father taught me English. I was getting better at it every day and The Duchesse always joked that my french accent was cute. Today she came in with a big cake. It was the first time I ate cake in years, and it tasted like heaven. She told me that it was so nice to see me smile. 

She told me about her family. I have only seen the Duke a few times. He was the same age as my father would be, but he had a beard and rosy cheeks. He did not say much but smiled when he saw me. Lady Doneraile told me that he knew who I was and it was an honor for him to protect me. Otherwise, she said that he was a busy man as he had to run a huge estate. 

The Duchess also had a son who was 3 years older than me. He was the heir and would get the estate and title passed on to him. He knew who I was and thought I was brave in dressing like a girl and being a girl. The Duchess smiled when she told me that her son admitted that I did not even look like a boy. I do not know if this was good or bad. However, she told me that he had a heart of gold. 

Then she had a daughter. She was the same age as me but died a year earlier. She fell off a horse and never woke up afterward. After a while, her body just gave up. I could see a tear in The Duchess's eyes as she mentioned this. She confessed that after her daughter died, she found that she had no purpose in life... that was until I came. 

I still had many nightmares. I would wake up in the middle of the night remembering some torture or pain that was inflicted upon me. The worse was when I dreamt that I was still alone in the dark cell. I hated being alone and would sit in the bed screaming and crying. 

I did tell the Duke and Duchess about my life and especially what happened when we left Versailles. The Duchess was in tears and wondered how anyone could treat a child like that. I told them that I was ever so grateful that they protected me, but at times I still missed my mother and my sister. They were silent after I said this. I suppose they were thinking about what it would be like if their family was separated. After some silence, the Duke said that I had to get better and then we could discuss my future. 

This worried me. Were the revolutionaries still looking for me? They could have sent spies to different countries looking for me. These spies could have been told to kill me or drag me back to the dark cell. This also caused me to have many nightmares. 

Another thing that worried me was people's expectations. People in France, as well as most European countries, have proclaimed me as the new king. Did people expect me to gather an army and go back to France and save the monarchy? In a way, I wanted to do this as I would be able to save momma and my sister. However, I really did not want to be a king. I wanted to help the people of France, but I did not want to be a king and be afraid of my life all the time or if I would be locked in a dark cell!

The Duke visited me a few months after my birthday. He told me that he had strange news. The French government announced that the Dauphin was dead. At first, this confused me a lot. How could I be dead? The Duke explained that they must have replaced me with some street boy when I escaped. It would be too embarrassing for the French government to admit that I escaped. Now this boy that they pretended to be me was dead. The newspaper said that he died of tuberculosis

This made me cry. Another innocent boy was the victim of the revolution. It should have been me that died. All I could think about was that this boy suffered in the dark cell and must have felt so alone in the final days of his life. 

The Duke tried to cheer me up and say that we must be sensible. The death of this boy meant that the French thought I was dead. Even if I did go back and claim to be the king, they could just say that I was an imposter. This means that I was now safe as they would not be looking for me if they announced that the Dauphin was dead. 

So many people have died or imprisoned or tortured for the sake of republicism. 

The Duchess helped me with my nightmares by always having a light in my room, especially at night time. She also sat next to me until I slept. My room was also full of teddies to keep me company. All this helped that the nightmares slowly become less than they were. 

At times I felt restless. Every day I tried to stand and walk and was disappointed when I was too weak to do so. This made life hard. I would look out the window and wish that I could play in the garden or at least see what was outside the bedroom. The son's name was Jason and he started visiting me every day. In the beginning, he thought it was strange that I was dressed like a girl, but he got used to it after some time. He was very nice as he would sit hours with me and just talk or read a book or play a game. To be honest, I think that I also helped him as he told me it was lonely living in the manor after his sister died. Jason quickly became a friend. I really had no friends before. 

The day finally came when I could stand and walk. I was allowed to explore the house. I still had girls nightdress on and my hair by now was very long. It was so exciting that I could walk around and participate in family events. The family was so civilized and after years of being treated like an animal, it was like I had to learn the proper manners and etiquette again. They had a lot of patience with me. 

I was so happy. It was a whole new life for me. I was never alone. I would eat with others or sit with them in the family room. I always had someone to speak to. It was also great that a teacher came every day and gave us lessons. Jason did not like schooling, but the teacher was proud of me and said that I was a quick learner. 

Jason was a great friend. We have done so many things together. However, at times he spoke before he thought. Sometimes he would ask why I did not want to wear boys' clothes. I would shrug my shoulders and answer that the maids put me in a dress. When Jason was mad, he would call me a sissy, which was hard to argue against. 

The worse was one day when we were walking through the park. I was telling him how happy I was, but I still missed my family. Jason said he would miss his mother if she was dead. This made me yell at him saying that my momma was not dead. She was locked in a cell. Jason lost his temper and said that he heard that she was executed years ago. This was the first time that I heard that momma was dead and I did not believe it. 

I ran all the way back to the Duchess in tears and told her that Jason was being mean. She told me to sit down. 

“ You should have been told about this long ago,” she started, “ Jason was telling the truth. When you were removed from your mother, your sister was removed shortly after. Your mother already lost her husband and now her children. She cried a lot and missed you every minute of the day. The French never did like your mother. She was not French and they did not like that she spent so much money. However other European countries did not like the revolution and they went to war with France. Some say that your mother was sending secret letters to other countries asking if they could help.”

“ Is momma dead?”

“ Listen and I will tell everything. Your mother was dangerous for the new government. While they thought they could train you to be a citizen, your mother was a Queen. She was a symbol. They had a trial for her. It was really not a trial and more like a show. They even made you sign documents that accused your mother of a disgusting act called incest. The judges said your mother was guilty and she was executed. Even when she was executed, she showed grace. She forgave those that executed her.”

By now, I was full of grief and could not believe that I was an orphan. I ran out of the manor and ran as far as I could. I ended up in the middle of some woods next to spring water. I did not know what to think as all I could think was that my mother was killed. I could not understand why people did not like her. They did not know her as I knew her. 

I also felt like it was my fault. I signed the documents that helped the judges say that she was guilty. It was not true of what the documents accused momma of. My parents never hurt me or done anything bad. I signed it because I did not want to be hit and I was afraid. Now I could not help thinking it was my fault. 

I do not know how long hid in the woods. I fell asleep and when I woke up, it was getting dark. On top of the news about momma, I wondered if my sister was alive and I was now afraid because it was getting dark. 

Then I head momma's voice, “ I love you! You now know that I was executed. This was not your fault. I do not want you to blame yourself. I want you to be happy and always compassionate for those that are not as lucky as you are. Your sister is alive and she will always think of you. Forgive those that have hurt our family and remember that I always am with you”

I decided that my life had been hard, but I am sure that some people had harder lives. I needed to make my parents proud and live the best life that I could. I walked back to the manor. The Duchess gave me a hug and said she was so worried. 

When the hugging was done, The Duke said that he would like to discuss something with me. So a family meeting was held. He took a deep breath and explained that their family was very fond of me and would like to adopt me. As soon as I heard this, I jumped in their arms and said I would love to be their child. 

Then The Duchess told me that only the family and maids knew that I was a boy. They could be relied on to take this secret to their death bed. She explained that my life could be in danger if people knew who I really was. Disguising myself as a girl had prevented this. I had a hard decision to make. I had to decide if I wanted to live as a boy or a girl. Whatever I decided, it would be respected!

I sat and thought about it. I knew I looked like a girl, and no one could see that I was a boy. I never really thought about being a boy or a girl. The fact is that I felt safe as a girl and liked the pretty dresses and the toys. After months of being disguised as a girl, I considered myself one. Deep down I was afraid of what would happen if I started being a boy again. Would people start hunting me down?

So I decided that I would live my life as a girl. The Duchess started taking me to some strange doctor that stopped my development as a boy and I started getting the body of a girl. 

So I started living the life of their daughter. I never did forget about the terror I experienced in France, but now I was happy with my new family. Once in a while, I would hear things about France. I read that my old sister got married when I was 14. This made me happy as it meant that she no longer suffered. 

Otherwise, I was trained to be a lady. My deep secret was something that was never revealed and everyone outside the manner thought I was a French orphan the family adopted. I must admit that I was spoiled, but my new parents also told me never to forget those that needed help. 

Jason was a good brother. He was very quiet and shy with others. He would tell me all his secrets and I would tell him mine. I could not really have wished for a better brother. At times, I felt sorry for him, as he was so shy. I wondered would be able to be a Duke when the time came. He did not like showing his authority. 

So I grew up to be quite different than my brother. I was very outgoing and loved being with others. I loved dancing and partying and often came home after the curfew. I never got drunk but I did like champagne. Needless to say, my adopted mother was very worried about me. 

The years went by. It was now in 1822. I was very much older! I remember it was my 37th birthday. Jason was now married and had small children of his own. I adored them as if they were my own and Jason's wife was a good friend. 

I was still wild and a social wild lady, that loved going to parties. I never flirted with men or contemplated a relationship. This was not because men were not interested in me. They were, however, I could never be with a man, for obvious reasons. 

I knew what was happening in France. I read about Napoleon and Waterloo, and the countless leaders and turmoil in the country. 

I never forgot who I was. I never forgot about my parents or sister. I never forgot the traumatic experiences I had a child. I read of people claiming to be me, and this both annoyed me and made me smile. 

Despite the high life I lived, and the security that it offered me, there was something missing in my life. It saddened me every time I read about how poor the people in France were. When they could not get help because they were sick. Many people were starving. There were so many sad stories. The people of France were no better off than they were when my father was king. 

I know that some French people treated me like an animal. They inflicted pain on me and nearly killed me. They killed my parents. Still, I forgave those people long ago. I still considered France as my country. I still loved France and its people. 

I knew what I had to do. I had to return to France!

_**To be continued** _   
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	6. Queen of France

I was now 37 years old. I lived as a woman and no one knew that I was the Dauphin of France except my adopted family. They were the only ones that knew that I was not a woman. I was a man. I was living in my adopted country of Ireland, and my life consisted of parties, shopping, and gossiping. I was safe from the terrors I experienced under the French Revolution. 

However, I never forgot that I was French. I loved France and its people, despite what they have done to my family. It broke my heart to read how the French people still suffered in France. So many were living in poverty, starving and living in dire conditions. This made my life of a wild party “girl” seem to be shallow.

The more I read about the poor In France, the more desperate I became. I knew what I had to do. I had to return to France. 

The Duke was very sick when I decided this. I did not say anything about my plans. I was beside his death bed nursing him. I could not leave the man that saved my life and offered me a new family. As I nursed him, my mind was in France. I kept on thinking about my return and what I would do. 

I did not want to claim the throne. France had its leaders and they seemed to be changed quite quickly. The French thought that the Dauphin was dead and this seemed like it should stay that way. I wanted to have a low profile and yet help those that really needed the help. 

The Duke could see I was restless. One day when I was nursing him, he told me that my heart belonged to France. This made me cry and I told him what I wanted to do. He smiled and told me to follow my heart. He told me there was a special bank account with money I can live on. At the same time, he told me to be careful and never let people know that I was the Dauphin. 

He died the day after. His burial was one of the saddest things I ever experienced. 

It was hard saying goodbye to my adopted family. The duchess could not stop crying. I told her that she was the most important person in my life, besides my momma. She was my mother in Ireland and I would always try and make her proud of me!

My plan was that I would dress as a nun. This was very practical as it was a good disguise and I did not have to carry a lot of luggage. I traveled back to France. 

When my feet touched the ground of France, I started to cry. Memories of the abuse I had experienced under the revolution came back and memories that many wanted me dead flooded my head. Yet France was my home. It was where I belonged! That would never change. 

On my way to Paris, I passed Versailles. It looked so big and yet it looked so old. The gardens were now wild and the palace itself looked like it was falling down. I had a few memories of when we lived there. I hoped that I could feel my parent's presence there when I stood and looked at it. This did not happen. All I could feel was a place that was a relic of the past and now empty and deserted. 

It was worse when I came to Paris. I went around the slums and could not believe my eyes. People were living in filthy and it looked like they did not have a bath or something to eat in a long time. Some women would be busy trying to clean and cook, to no avail. The children were walking around with blank faces. Others were just sitting and barely existing. 

I spoke with some people, and they told me how hard it was to survive. Flashbacks came to me when I was locked in the dark cell. I was treated like an animal. I did not know then that others all over the country lived in conditions we would not accept animals to live in. it broke my heart to hear about their lives, and what was worse, they had no hope. 

This small girl was following me all over the slum. She was only 8 years old and told me she was an orphan. After a bit, I noticed so many orphans. I knew what it was like being an orphan. I knew that I had to help these children. 

I rented an old house in the slum and started taking care of the orphan children. The house was quickly full of these children. I worked all day taking care of them and making sure that they were clean and fed. This work nearly killed me as I was alone in doing it. 

Luckily some of the women who were neighbors started to help. I gave them food for their families. This led to a new spirit in the slum area where I was. People started being active in helping one another. It was like a ripple in the water. Kindness and compassion spread as people and this created some hope. 

Besides the orphanage, I would speak with people and tell them that they each had a talent that was a gift from God. They could not wait until some factories employed them. They had to control their future. I loaned money to men who wanted to start a trade such as a carpenter or a builder. I also loaned money to women who would try their own business. 

The slum had a good bakery and a good furniture workshop after years of hard work. The orphanage was the center of the slum as well as a place where families that had no roof over their head could sleep. 

When I was at the slum for 7 years. My adopted brother visited me. It was still a slum and the people still lived in dire conditions. The difference was that now the people had hope. They also had each other. 

It was good that Jason visited me, as the money I inherited was now used up and gone. I never considered asking him if he would help pay. However, Jason was impressed. He told me that he decided to start a fund in Ireland and England where people could donate money to the slum and its work. This was like a prayer that was answered. 

I continued working at the slum and helping the poor where I could. By the time I was 50, I was known all over Paris. I was known as the nun that dedicated and gave her life to give the poor people in slums some hope and dignity. I did not like the fame and preferred to continue working among the poor without getting any attention. 

One of the happiest times of my life was when the girl that followed me around the slum on the first day was now old enough to leave the slum. She decided not to and she decided to wear a nuns habit like mine and dedicate her life to helping the poor. 

When I was 51, I got a surprise visitor. It was my sister that I did not see since we were locked in the temple. At first, she looked at me and then in a silent voice said, “it's you. You are alive!”

How my sister knew that I was disguised as a nun confused me. She explained that she heard momma's voice telling her to visit me. We spent the next few days talking about the past and the people we were now. She was now living as an aristocrat, but she seemed so unhappy. The revolution had really damaged her spirit and she was not happy in her marriage. She had no children. She was still a victim of the revolution!

My sister left, but she told me where my parents were buried. I left the slum one day and visited the grave. I could not stop crying. I missed my parents so much! Would they be proud of who I was now?

What if there was no revolution. I would be the king now? Would I have been a good king? What would have happened to the slum that I lived in?

I continued working in the slum until I died when I was 63

I had a simple burial that the poor people had. However, my death got lots of publicity. They wrote about a nun that dedicated her life to helping the poor. Some even considered me a saint. 

One newspaper called me “the uncrowned Queen of France.”

This was how people remembered me... the Queen of the slums.

The end

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